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    Hope you can express yourself and he strives to become a better dom, good luck! One of my biggest problems is that I do not like the word no and have trouble obeying when told no.

    I have the wanting to please and be owned by master qualities but I struggle with giving up complete control as I have always been a control freak which is one of the many reasons my Master and I choose this lifestyle is to help me give up control.

    Hi Cristina! I completely understand that it can be hard to give up control. You can read the tips for topping from the bottom to help you. Being comfortable with giving up control will take some time, so try to be patient and focus on how being obedient benefits you and your relationship.

    I am not a sub…yet…I would like to…. Sure, Stacey! Make sure you figure out first WHY you want to be a submissive, and what you hope to get out of it.

    Take it very slow, and remember to have fun! Please help me as clarity. Would being used sexually be the acts of a slave?

    Would something like that be considered for a little? I know it all depends on the contract and understanding.

    Hi Danie! Both slaves and littles can be used sexually. Have fun! Unlike most of the previous replies, i am male with a female dom. She is so special, funny, caring, sexy yet tough and demanding.

    The intimacy and trust levels we achieve thru her bdsm domination of me are incredible. Unfortunately we live some distance apart, but when we do get together the connection is electric.

    I am constantly thinking ways to try and please her and show my loyalty. I respect her and dont want to appear a pest by texting and calling all the time.

    Thanks for your comment, Bill! A lot of subs feel that way, Erin. The best way to get over being self-conscious is to remember that your 1 job is to focus on your Dom, and not yourself.

    You can even have a mantra to repeat when you feel your self-esteem dropping. Hello, I recently started being a sub. And I have to tell you that….

    I thought that I was the only one who loved this way of life. Thanks for this article it is really helpful!! I have to continually try and anticipate what would please him, which is exhausting and I end up being a brat which only gets me spankings.

    Can you give any suggestions that would help me, help him to carry over his dominance into our vanilla aspects of the relationship? He is very willing to learn and grow but I do not want to force him, I love when he is and explores his dominance over me and wish so much that he would break out of the mindset that he is being a jerk for demands or punishment tasks.

    Guys especially sometimes need things spelled out for them and lots of examples. You can also share this article about rituals with him.

    Being a Dom and assigning and enforcing tasks is a lot of work. He may say he wants to learn and try but a Dom has to be self-motivated and take the lead.

    He may just like the kinky sex, and being a lifestyle Dom may not be for him. Thanks so much. I read another few articles and the one you mentioned.

    I took it upon myself to start a journal that He can read at will. I actually wrote my first entry and have to say it is so much easier to write about these things than to have discussions.

    Maybe there is a happy medium somewhere and this journal is the start of something wonderful. Thanks for the advice Kinky Abby, I really appreciate it.

    Thank you for all your amazing articles! Hi Lunaa! Remember to stay in the moment. Worrying about the future will not help you to serve your Dom.

    And be kind to yourself! I adore to be sodomised by men while people watch. I am not attracted to men in the slightest.. I like your blog..

    Knowing our likes and dislikes is the most important thing. You can read more about it here. Im struggleing to know exactly how to be the best sub.

    We have a 13 yr old daughter who is never away from us and time alone to cummacate is scarce. Can you help me?? Struggling to be a good sub while dealing with teenage children can be frustrating.

    Be sure to check out Dom Sub Training , we cover both of those issues in detail so you can focus on enjoying the BDSM lifestyle.

    I am new to being a sub I have always had it in me but it just took the right man to bring it out of me. Hi Peaches! Be sure to download the cheat sheet above, and you can also check out this article.

    I was in what I thought was a submissive role in my past but now I see was being abused. I have since been talking with a Master and I am struggling with His written assignments.

    We have not met yet. Master says I am giving text book answers and not from my own heart. He wants me in position humble and to describe my thoughts with questions He specifically asks.

    Like how i feel spiritually, emotionally, sexually, physically and mentally about me being his slave.

    He made it clear that any punishment I would give to myself and He would decide what counted. I am new to the lifestyle and finally found a real Dom.

    He is a Daddy and we are going by the book so to speak because of my inexperience. I have found though I love the thought of submitting to him I have a brat side to me.

    I am NEVER disrespectful but love to push. Love to bring out the DD side of him. I am fearful I will be too much for him.

    One of the things I struggle with is the way my Master makes me feel. I get lost in him, in my need to service him. When he is near, I am a puddle, and I sink into subspace at the sound of his voice.

    I have difficulty with this for a number of reasons. It is not in my nature to give of myself so fully and I wonder if I am giving too much.

    Hi Kim! Hi Crystal! For tips on obeying DDlg and long-distance relationship rules be sure to check out these articles:. Hi thanks you so much for the adivce I hope I can become a better sub and that it works thanks you.

    Hi, Gosh I feel like I am 23yo again about to lose my virginity AGAIN. Never having even read 50 Shades of anything or seen the movie or even having any thoughts on the subject, I have no idea where to start apart from maybe picking my chin off the floor.

    I have been maneuvering your site and thank you for being here but I really do not know where to start still.

    Should I be saying Yep lets do this, am I insolent in wanting to ask lots of questions? I am about to turn 50 so I have been committed over the last 12 months to staring my life from scratch and am trepidacious though completely open to the thought of this sort of relationship being a new way of living.

    Ok I am now ranting apologies. But thanks for being in amongst the confusion. My X husband changed to be a submissive person.

    He was always mistreating me when we were married. I have been with my Sir for around 18 months. Be sure to check out this article.

    Without a partner. I am considering a relationship as a sub. The Dom has asked me to make sure I really want this. I like that, but it makes me emotional, thus harder to make a decision.

    I have no experience with this, in fact have always had to be the one in control and have no idea of what all is expected of me.

    I really want love. Is love a thing a Dom can have for the sub? I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster not knowing which way is up or down.

    A Dom and sub can definitely love each other, Sunny. And many BDSM relationships are centered around love. Thank you. I guess I am just afraid of getting into something where I will remain unloved.

    Can you tell me generic things that most Doms want from their subs? He keeps saying he wants me to be sure I want it, but when I ask what the conditions are he seems to busy to explain.

    No problem, Sunny! Be sure to download the free contract here for a general idea of what most Doms expect.

    You can read more about that here. Stay safe! Use it to stop what ever is going on should be no recourse for doing so.

    Be sure to read this article for help with communicating with your Dom. Not that I am but I am interested in your answer? Thanks so much the articles are great and so informative!

    Hi Carra! Can a sub make a potential Dom work for it? Make him earn my submission? You could have requirements that have to be met first.

    You can also check out this article for tips dealing with potential Doms. Have fun and be safe! You gave me a rather clear vision of what should be a good relationship i.

    I am really glad I found this blog. There is a lot of information that I want to know. I am not a sub yet but I want to be.

    Hi Terri! There are lots of single mothers who are subs. Just remember to stay safe and keep learning all you can about the lifestyle.

    I have kind of fallen into a submissive role with my very long term partner. This has all happened so quickly and we are both enjoying this new phase of our sexual relationship,but it has come about because I kissed another guy.

    Maybe I did this because I wanted to be punished. I actually have lots for Doms, Annette! You can check out this article to get you started.

    I met someone who wants to Dom me even though we are both in very long term but sexually boring marriages. I am really struggling being able to vocally talk in person and message really dirty filth at his request its not coming naturally I want to be able to please him.

    I have found I respond VERY well to lots of praise. The things we learn, right? Also, my shyness, and reserve is a pet of what really turns him on, so I am able to be pretty honest about things.

    I wish you the best, and have fun pushing your own boundaries. I am just starting out as a sub. This is great information.

    I already have my domme. But with of these articles, we are on the right track. Wish us luck! And thank you for the amazing information.

    The basic breast bondage technique involves tying ropes around the base of the breasts , causing them to bulge outwards.

    Usually, the same rope is used for both breasts so that the rope harness is automatically held together at the front. The rope may then also be fixed behind the back, to make a sort of bra.

    Another technique is to put a rope around the torso just above the breasts, and another one just below them, then push the ropes together to squeeze the breasts from the top and bottom.

    This can be done instead of, or as well as, the other method. A rope can also be passed over the shoulders and between the breasts, drawing the rope above and below the breasts together, then pass back over the shoulders to the knots at the back.

    The primary rope can be used to place cinches between the arms and the body. It has been popularly claimed that "shinju" is an authentic Japanese term for a "bikini harness".

    However, no such tie called a "shinju" is found in historic or present kinbaku. The basic or foundational kinbaku form of binding the arms and breasts is known as the Ushiro Takatekote , which is to bind the arms behind ushiro the back in a box arm position takate kote.

    Sometimes, breast bondage is combined with other bondage techniques. For example, the woman's arms can be tied behind her back, in an elbow or box tie or in a reverse prayer position.

    When combined with breast bondage, bound arms force the woman's chest and breasts to protrude further. When combining breast and arm bondage, the ropes can draw the ropes above and below the breasts together at the sides of the breasts as they pass under the shoulders and behind the neck, thus resulting in rope effectively surrounding the breasts.

    Breast bondage can play an integral part in suspension bondage. If the subject is being suspended, particularly in a horizontal position such as a suspended hogtie, breast bondage is used as the main supporting area under the chest.

    To describe a rig, a whole vocabulary has evolved. When the arms are crossed over the chest like a mummy: this is Egyptian, if they touch the opposite shoulders: this is a double-V.

    When a wrist is pulled behind the back and up to the opposing shoulder we have a hammerlock. This hands may be on the head, or behind the neck or in an over-arm tie.

    They may be on the soles of the feet, on the ankles, [32] on the opposite ankles on the knees, to the side crossed in front or holding the opposite elbow.

    A captive tie or over-arm tie Kotobu Ryo-tekubi , is a bondage position in which a person's wrists are fastened behind the person's head using some form of physical restraints, such as rope or cuffs to which is attached a length of rope, chain or strap the other end of which is attached to a belt at the waist or other anchoring point.

    People who practice rope bondage see this as a short term or temporary tie, to be used to restrain the submissive while moving to another room, or a warm up introductory tie.

    It is not inescapeable. The wrists are tied together in front with a double column tie. They are taken over the head and the rope falls down the centre of the back.

    It is passed around the lower chest and looped around itself, it is reversed and the fall is tightened and centred, the rope passes back in front of the chest and is locked off at the centre back.

    Spare rope can be passed up to wrists tightening the tie. To use this as a permanent tie, the tension is reduced and a further rope is passed between the upperarms, closing the space under the elbows.

    The over-arm tie may be used as a part of more complicated bondage. For example, the back rope can be passed between the legs and fastened in front, forming a crotch rope.

    The wrists may be tied to the upper arms with any desired tension, from a loose tie to a strict tie where the wrists are almost touching the upper arms.

    In this position, the elbows stick out on each side, level with the head, with the hands tied behind the head. This is an asymmetric arm tie, where one arn is taken behind the back, and the other arm is taken over the shoulder.

    The reverse prayer position , a technique used in BDSM play, involves restraint of a person's arms by binding them behind the person's back, with the hands placed between the shoulders, with the fingers of both hands straight, extended, and the palms of the hands touching each other.

    It is thus similar to the traditional prayer position, but with the arms behind, rather than in front of, the bound person, thus preventing use of the arms.

    Many people find this position painful after a time, and cramps may set in. Thus, someone bound in this position may need careful monitoring.

    To immobilize the arms further, ropes or a strap are often placed round the arms and torso, pressing the arms against the back. On a woman, this can conveniently be linked to ropes for breast bondage.

    Another technique is to fix ropes from the elbows to a belt or other ropes round the body. In bondage fiction, people in this position are sometimes forced to have their elbows touching, turning this into a form of elbow bondage.

    Very few people can adopt this position without dislocation of the shoulders. However, with many people, it is possible to press the elbows together slightly and tie them in that position.

    The reverse prayer position without any bondage is also used in some yoga exercises. Head bondage , in BDSM play, includes all techniques used to apply control to the head of the subject.

    It may refer to one of several techniques: [37]. A head harness is a device made of interconnected straps designed to encircle the human head, used in BDSM activities.

    The straps are generally secured by buckles that fasten at the back of the head. Head harnesses are most commonly used to provide points of attachments to secure various kinds of gags , such as ball gags , bit gags , muzzle gags and ring gags , although they also have other uses, such as providing attachment points for other forms of bondage, or may be used simply for their psychological effect.

    Head harnesses may also function as a gag by themselves, by restricting the ability to open the mouth, or have a mouth cover as an integral part.

    Head harnesses, like many other forms of bondage, also have the effect of creating a sense of objectification and erotic helplessness in the wearer, which can be erotic for the wearer, or for those observing them.

    Many head harnesses are designed with straps that pass in front of the wearer's eyes, restricting their vision, and further increasing the sense of objectification and erotic subjugation.

    Some have full blindfolds. The spread eagle position is also employed as a bondage position in BDSM play, sometimes horizontally otherwise vertically and even upside down.

    This is a comfortable position, the submissive lies face up on their back with all four limbs secured to the furniture. Face down would be called prone.

    The ties can be slack allowing movement or more severe. The position allows for total front access, but none to the rear, so it excludes spanking games.

    Penetration is limited by the low angle. A standing or hanging spread eagle position can be achieved using equipment such as a Saint Andrew's cross or spreader bars or with ropes or chains attached to different endpoints.

    Specialist bondage furniture with anchor points is manufactured. It encompasses cages, frames, stocks, chairs and tables.

    For instance, a bed can be adapted using a restraints kit; webbing attached to leather cuffs is placed under the mattress.

    A ladder back chair, offers anchor points for binding the legs high in the air, or behind. Strappado bondage is a term describing a position and technique used in BDSM play.

    A person's arms are bound behind their back, then by use of some method of attachment such as a rope or chain that runs from their wrists to a securing point above, their arms are lifted behind them until the person is forced to bend forward.

    The different styles of the strappado bind can be summarised as follows and these can be combined with crotch ropes and breast bondage, gags or blindfolds.

    The exact technique used is very much related to the purpose of using this particular position in BDSM play:. It intentionally reduces the subject's ability to struggle, as the body is placed in an awkward position such and any struggling on their part, could result in their losing balance.

    As a result, the subject chooses not to move for fear of falling over. It create a sense of vulnerability in the subject's mind by exposing their buttocks and genital area.

    When the elbows are bound together, even for very flexible subject it is rarely possible to bind them to touch, for as arms are lifted towards a horizontal position, the shoulder joints shift into a different position preventing the usual movement that should occur when the elbows are drawn together.

    Irrespective of this any elbow bondage, even minor, applied in this manner may severely increase tension and pain. The use of head bondage allows the subject's head to be pulled back to a front-facing position as opposed to hanging towards the floor and is often used to make the subject perform oral sex.

    In addition to the restrictiveness that this causes, if a suitable ring gag is used the subject may feel increasingly exposed to penetration and because the subject's head is facing down drooling may also occur.

    The normal reaction of the subject is to increase the forward bending as the arms are lifted. By further lifting the arms beyond a critical point this may become too difficult or even physically impossible to continue without lifting themselves off the floor and force them to stand more upright and increase the strain on the shoulder joints.

    The subject can also be secured to e. By completely immobilizing the subject's body the person in the dominant position can have complete and precise control over the tension and pain experienced.

    A form of predicament bondage is to tie one foot of the subject to the opposite thigh or another body part so they have to concentrate on not causing more pain.

    Their arms are raised to the point where they have to stand on their toes. To relieve pain in their foot they must lower their body and cause more pain in their shoulders.

    To relieve pain in their shoulders they must stand on tip-toes and cause more pain in their foot and leg. Another variation is to tie the subject's foot to a body part of another subject so they can relieve their own pain but increase it for the other subject.

    With the breasts pointing towards the floor, the use of nipple clamps , possibly with weights attached, can be used to stimulate the subject with more pain.

    Strappado bondage is most commonly used with the subject's feet on the ground. Very rarely will someone use this technique with their feet off the ground, because of the pain and possibly severe injury this can cause.

    Due to the difficulty of maintaining this position, this type of BDSM play does not allow for long periods of being bound.

    Its major use is for sexual play with the bound subject. While bound like this, the subject is open to the use of various tools such as floggers, whips, etc.

    This bondage position is also used as a form of torture, therefore measures are usually taken to ensure that the subject bound in this position is not pushed beyond their physical capabilities.

    Any position that moves limbs into an extreme position and holds them there for an extended period of time can result in damage - sometimes permanent - to even the most flexible of people.

    It is possible, though very rare, for extreme iterations of this position to cause asphyxiation, as being suspended in this way can constrict the lungs and cause respiratory distress.

    Therefore, it's a technique to be performed with safety foremost in mind. Suspension bondage is a form of sexual bondage where a bound person is hung from one or more overhead suspension points.

    Suspension bondage is considered to carry a higher risk than other forms of sexual bondage and there is much attention to safety.

    In partial suspension the person is bound in a way that part of their body weight is held by suspension ropes, cables or chains.

    The classic partial suspension position is to have the person balancing on one foot with part of their weight supported through a chest harness and the other leg pulled up in some direction.

    A person lying on their upper back with legs tied upwards to a suspension point to pull their lower back off the ground would also qualify as partial suspension.

    In full suspension the person is completely supported by suspension ropes, cables or chains , and they have no contact with the ground.

    The position of the person's body in a full suspension may be horizontal, vertical or inverted; it is only limited by their endurance and the skill of the binder.

    A small group practise self-suspension. Metal can be used for bondage ties with handcuffs , metal hobbles and spreader bars. The rope used for Japanese bondage is made from natural fibres such as hemp , it is prepared by boiling to make it soft, but it is coarse and binds to its self: there is a lot of friction, so the knots hold fast.

    The two basic ties are the single-column tie , where the 'column' could be the end of a limb or an attachment point, and the double column tie which could be used to bind two limbs.

    They all start with a basic knot, and finish with securing the loose ends. Overhand knot , Double overhand knot , figure-of-eight knot , square knot , half-hitches , clove hitch , Munter hitch , larkshead knot , prusik knot.

    There is basic advice on precautions to take at a BDSM session. This includes never leaving the bound subject alone, never performing under the influence of alcohol or drugs and always having shears available to cut the rope in case there is an emergency.

    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Redirected from List of bondage positions. Wikimedia list article. See also: Japanese bondage. Main article: Suspension bondage.

    Archived from the original on 30 April Retrieved 24 September ASI BDSM. Archived from the original on 29 August Retrieved 29 August Informed Consent.

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    Restrained Elegance. Archived from the original on 23 August Retrieved 25 August Dangerous Relationships: Pornography, Misogyny And, Rape.

    Archived from the original on 22 February The Dutchy.

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    Informationen zum Artikel Artikelzustand:. I want to please Master. Come back to them begging you to set them free. The things we learn, right? Archived from the original on 7 March He wants me in position humble and to describe my thoughts with questions He specifically asks. Hi Meghan! Have fun and be safe! This adds to Drei große harte Schwänze für die unersättliche Ungarische Schlampe Carla Crouz visual impact, and should be used as a supplement to Transe Mit Schwanz secure bondage. Titten sex tube 30 April The frogtie, with the person restrained so, can also be used master sex tube a restrictive sex position or as a basis for more restrictive bondage. The bound person's wrist tie can also be tethered to some sort of immovable ring by an arbitrary length of cord, allowing some limited freedom of movement while preventing escape. Inzest Vater Tochter variation of the hogtie involves Small Hands Porn bound wrists to frogtied legs, providing the dominant easier access to the submissive 's Milf Mütter for sexual play. Stay safe! You could have requirements that have to be met first. I am finding it hard to go back to the role while we are apart but as with anything I know this takes time to accomplish. Specialist bondage furniture with anchor Submissive Bound is manufactured.
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